“I started to feel like my life was a joke,” he writes. “I could never really do anything, because no one ever really wanted to hear anything from me except if I met someone attractive. That was so frustrating.”
He felt the same way a few years ago after a particularly bad acid trip. After a few trips, he realized that when you look at things with a clear head, there’s nothing that matters.
He decided to start sleeping in. He went to bed at 4 a.m. every night. Today, every time he wakes up, he turns off all the lights and gets outside. Sometimes he watches TV. Other times, he does a crossword; his wife does a good job as a librarian, and he likes to be near her. He takes walks, runs around a lot, and reads a lot.
He says he feels better for it.
“All I can think about is not getting killed, and not having my family die because my job was too damn boring,” he writes. “So, I started to change that. I started feeling like I could do everything.”
And he continues to do it, each day.
In the summer, he walks or runs through the countryside for 45 minutes every day. He does a little shopping; if he wants something new, he buys it. If he wants to use up a bottle of coke in the basement, he fills it up with water and gets it to the basement. “It is like a detoxification ritual,” he writes. “I feel much better, in spite of everything I thought I would lose. I am feeling like myself again.”
By the end of the summer, he is in the mood to have sex.
“It is great and I love it. But, there is another thing that I need to know. I have had it with my wife being so boring to have sex with,” he writes.
He has sex with other women now, as well.