The man, who has not been identified, says he wants to tell his story.
It started with one of those strange dreams: of being hit with a baseball, and then being hit with a baseball again. If you ever went to a game on a baseball diamond, you’d probably have seen this:
The baseball would always be in the back of the ballplayer’s mind, a reminder that he had to run. But with that baseball, there was a chance he could strike out. And with baseball, there was an opportunity to get hit with another.
But, for this man, it was all a dream. A day in the life of a man who’s been changed into a walking skeleton.
“I have a problem,” he says.
For many, it’s a daily battle with depression that can get debilitating. But for someone like this man ? who spent more than a decade in prison serving a life sentence for violent crimes ? a different problem is coming to light: A meth addiction and a bad drug habit that have taken a toll on him.
Last summer, after the state parole board refused to grant him a new sentence, he decided to stop drinking. And when he stopped drinking, he didn’t stop his meth use.
And now, he’s back to using again.
“I’m trying to be a productive citizen,” he says. “I went a little too far last time.”
A nightmare made reality
He’s been sober for eight weeks, and he’s a lot better. He says he uses meth once every two days. His eyesight is fading, but not entirely.
But he’s still got his heroin habit. Every time he takes it he says he thinks about the baseball. And then about the next thing on his brain ? who threw it at whom.
“It’s still the same feeling, the same feeling I have,” he says. “I still think about it like two weeks before I do something I don’t want to do.”
It’s not the first time he’s been confronted with this problem.
When he was a kid, he says, he would wake up with a bad headache. He’d check his phone for messages ? just like anybody in that situation. But once he got home, he’d stay up thinking.
“I was just looking for someone to give me a headache,” he says.